Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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