Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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