I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's like God shit irony all over that family
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
