Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think my fart just growled at me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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