worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
