i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
