im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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