Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
