Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
