just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
