I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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