I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
