i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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