I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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