Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize