We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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