shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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