I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
