how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
