oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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