Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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