fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
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you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
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What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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