Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
