Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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