My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
