i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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