sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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