I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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