i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
