It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
