she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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