is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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