Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.