im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.