Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now