woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome