i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
