He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
