Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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