yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize