Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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