omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
