Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
