It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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