they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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