Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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