I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
