I want to walk on stilts...naked
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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