No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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