i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
soo... how was my night?
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