ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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