hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
