how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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