i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
