What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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