I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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