dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
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a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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