I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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