my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
