so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
