OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize