Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
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also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
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He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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