You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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