u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
