Is it normal to miss your booty call?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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