Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
