Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
