Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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