and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
