just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
