Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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