we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
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I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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