I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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