just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
